Scene 1
MS Interior White House East Wing. A podium with mic. Behind the podium are Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.
A man steps to the podium
Man
Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished journalists, the President of the United States, Donald Trump.
The President enters and approaches the mic.
The President
It’s good to meet with these distinguished heads of state. I love them. We have a good relationship. They’re good people. I called this summit to discuss my plans to hold a military parade here in the Capital on Veterans Day. They all like the idea and are thinking of having their own parades.
Oh, and by the way, I’m implementing a 25% tariff on all steel imports and a 10% tariff on all aluminum imports from any nation.
The three leaders behind Trump seemingly distraught turn to each other and whisper amongst themselves.
The President
I’m going to implement these tariffs just as soon as Jared…
Nieto
Pssst.
Nieto steps up to Trump and whispers something in the President’s ear.
The President
(softly) Huh?
(louder) Except Mexico. As I said, as soon as…
Trudeau
Pssst.
Trudeau steps up to Trump and whispers something in the President’s ear.
The President
(softly) Huh?
(louder) Except Canada. As I said, as soon as…
Turnbul
Pssst.
Turnbul steps up to Trump and whispers something in the President’s ear.
The President
(softly) Huh?
(louder) Except Austria. What the fuck!
Cut to Pennsylvania Avenue Veterans Day. The streets are empty.